Twi-rap.

I'm sure he's going to kill me for this or something damn near close, but I had to post this. Ben wrote a silly Twilight themed rap and it cracks me up!

I ain't got no chain on mah neck
Ed's ICE COLD
I'm made of diamonds bitch
TRUTH BE TOLD

Cuz I'm a Vampire bitch
V to the Ampire
And Forks be
My mutha-fuckin EMPIRE

Bella be trippin'
in her broke ass truck
Get yo ass in the Guardian, bitch
What the FUCK!?

I do the Harlem Shake
and make mountains crumble
then I b-boy that shit
and make Atlas FUMBLE

Every Day I'm Hustlin'.

Top-Five: Reasons NOT to approach a guy at a bar.

I've been racking my brain as of recently trying to come up with a new top-five. It's been rather difficult since I cannot put down this Twilight Saga. I'm finally on the fourth book and it kills me a little each time I have to set it down. Anywho, back to the task at hand!

While out with several of my girlfriends last Thursday evening, it dawned on me that I really don't think guys have a clue. And when I say clue, I mean that they are simply oblivious to certain things that any intelligent, self-respecting women would notice. I say this with certainty because I was able to compile a hefty list within a short time period; a list of reasons to not approach a man at a bar. It's pretty sad that I was able to jot down a list of more than ten different reasons, all of which had serious backbone.

So, without further ado, I bid you my latest.

1. Never approach a guy who is drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. As we all know, PBR is almost always on special at just about any bar, therefore it doesn't require much money to purchase, which in turn says that the guy is more than likely cheap and/or frugal with his money. Although, I know it also could convey that he is merely being efficient with his finances by choosing a beverage that serves its purpose. But let's be serious here. I don't know a single guy in his right mind who would do this. Moving on....

This'll make you giggle!

Top Five: Funny Movie Quotes

1. "Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Alright?" - Anchorman: The Legend of Rob Burgundy  

2. "And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed." - Legally Blonde  

3. "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time." - Old School  

4. "Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair." - Wedding Crashers 

5. "I don't know. Listen to Jim Croce, play darts... whatever the hell else you white people do." - Starsky & Hutch

Top 60 Ghetto Black Names

Single Ladies Yo.

The Mouse Get's Down.

My Mom sent me this video this morning and I pretty much died laughing when I watched it. Enjoy. Mickey Mouse got moves!

Rabbit, Rabbit.

Is it seriously March already?! I cannot even believe how fast time is flying by! All is well here in the wild world of Lauren, haha. I'm going home in two weeks for spring break! I'm super excited to visit and just be at home with my friends and family. There's so many things I'd like to bring back here which I'm excited about. One thing I'm not looking forward to is the cold weather. It's been about 80-86° here everyday for the past week or so and I'm just loving how warm it is. The cold weather, for me, is too restrictive. While I'm home, I'm gonna be spending some time with my friend Ryan while I'm home. We've got some fun things planned out that we're going to be doing while I'm home. We haven't seen each other in almost 4 years because of his psychotic ex-girlfriend who wouldn't let us be friends. She controlled everything about his life sadly enough, so it's good to see him getting back to his old self and finally having the ability to live his life without reserve. No one wants to weighed down like that. You're supposed to embrace your significant other, not hold them back from the things they enjoy. The picture I'm including in this post is something I discovered while playing Scrabble recently. It's purely coincidental but I had to take a picture of it haha. Enjoy.

King Burger

HAHA!

Hey Girl, Heyyy!

Here are some of the gorgeous women who have or are currently running our country. Jimmy Carter & Prince Charles. John Kerry, George Bush, Colin Powell, & Donald Rumsfield. Bill Clinton Scrooge W. Bush

Need I Say More?!

Lego Batman!

Oh hell yeah we have 4 of the Lego Batman keychains! I <333 Robin! Be jealous!

The Peabody Ducks

Way To Go, Sexy Sarah!

Really?!

Is this even necessary?! And whats up with Joe Biden and the Catholics hatin' on him.

They Walk Among Us.

Here are a few examples of documented stupidity which I've recently indulged in. Please enjoy my findings. I've recently decided, along with the agreement of Chad, that people are generally getting dumber and dumber. We're both all for the advancement of the technology, but so many things can be done for us that we never actually learn how to do so many simple tasks for ourselves.

I've got several friends who are brilliant in many ways but straight-up brain dead in others. For instance, one of those friends has absolutely no idea how the airport actually works -- meaning all of the processes in which you partake when going there for travel purpose (not just picking someone up) such as checking in, security check, finding your gate, boarding, that annoying waiting time between every step, and then picking up your luggage thereafter arriving at your destination.

Its very apparent that the category of people in this world who are actually smart is slowly decreasing with each birth of each child. It boggles my mind that there are a plethora of virtually limitless FREE resources at the fingertips of nearly every human being living on this planet yet are never EVER taken advantage of.

Anyway, on to the documented stupidity:

• So I was calling to order a pizza ,with the menu in
  hand, i order a large pizza with ground beef, bacon,
  and extra cheese and the girl on the phone says "oh
  I'm sorry we don't have any ground beef" so i say "but
  here on the menu it says you have hamburger" and she
  responds "Oh well we have hamburger!" So i said ok
  I'll take the hamburger instead of the ground beef
  then. She says no problem!
• Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get
  rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and
  hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want
  it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there
  without even one person looking twice at it. He
  eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of
  this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he
  changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The
  next day someone stole it.
• While looking at a house, my brother asked the real
  estate agent which direction was north because, he
  explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
  morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
  When my brother explained that the sun rises in the
  east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and
  said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
• I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call
  center. One day I got a call from an individual who
  asked what hours the call center was open. I told him,
  "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
  7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or
  Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I
  said, "Uh, Pacific".
• My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our
  cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative
  assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her
  weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
  convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned
  because the car was moving".
• My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's
  designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
  trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
• My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that
  the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big
  party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2
  times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
• I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
  with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
  My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time
  she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose
  and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which
  way the head is turned.
• I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage
  area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told
  the woman there that my bags never showed up. She
  smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
  trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now,"
  she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
• While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
  ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone
  and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4
  pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
  responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think
  I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces".

Yup, they walk among us. Talk about embarrassing.

SNL.

This is the funniest fucking thing I've seen in a long time!! Oh, and by the way, get out there and VOTE!!!

Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Jeff Spicoli: Hey, you're ripping my card. Mr. Hand: Yes. Jeff Spicoli: Hey bud, what's your problem? Mr. Hand: No problem at all. I think you know where the front office is. Jeff Spicoli: [stunned] You dick!