Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Text Messaging Truths.
I just got off the phone with my mother and she told me the most disturbing news. She says that one of my friends, my closest confidante, had a conversation with her the other day via text messages and said that they wished that I would just admit that this is another one of my fuck-ups.
It really hurt my feelings to find this out considering this person is the one who I go to all the time and vice versa. This is the friend whom I considered to be the closest friend I have and to know that this person considers this relationship a fuck-up just because it didn't work out really pisses the hell off.
Honestly, it's not a fuck-up. A fuck-up is getting pregnant without planning it or being ready to be a parent. A fuck-up is getting all doped up on drugs all the time and letting your whole entire life fall apart. I'm 110% sure that I do not fall into the fuck-up category.
If anything, at least I can say that I've tried whereas most people wouldn't dare to do a fraction of the things I've done in my life. I'm not saying I'm some fantastic person or that I'm above anyone, because I am certainly neither of those things. However, I am somewhat of a fearless-risk-taking individual. I only live once and I want to make the most of my life. I'm certainly not in any hurry to accomplish a million in one things by the time I'm 25 like some people are. This is my life and my goals have always remained the same; and I feel that that is the most important thing, besides staying true to myself, which I mostly certainly am.
If you want to talk behind my back then by all means do so, but if your supposed to be my closest friend and you can tell me anything, but you can't tell me that you think I'm a fuck-up simply because a relationship did not work out, then maybe we should not be friends. Maybe I can't trust a damn soul on this planet. Maybe people need to take their heads out of their uptight asses and realize that I'm not phobic of life and taking chances.
Remember: At least I can say that I've tried while the majority of people out there who are criticizing me haven't taken any real chances, thus giving them absolutely ZERO room to criticize.
It's funny how quickly people criticize others, which seems to be an effortless thing to talk down to another person, yet its nearly impossible and practically unheard of for one person to give another a genuine compliment.
Don't I deserve some damn credit for trying!? Is this really a fuck-up simply because it didn't work out? It's not like my entire life is going to end because of this, it's just the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next. I don't understand why people can be so fucking two-faced. Most people are taught that honesty is the best policy, which is why I'm so damn blunt about things. I'm being open and honest on this blog, which is my public outlet to the world, to my friends, to my acquaintances, my enemies, and anyone else who may read this.
If you feel that I'm a fuck-up just because I took a chance and it didn't work out, then you should tell me to my face, and not to my mother through a damn text message.
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6 comments:
what is with all the hating?
i remember talking about this at cracker barrel, but sometimes people who don't agree with our decisions because they wouldn't do it think criticizing is the way to tell you that.
plus, it can't be all bad since you fell in love with arizona...
Oddly enough, the person I'm referring to was the one with me at Cracker Barrel.
I'll reply to your other comment tomorrow. I'll probably just email you or something.
I do love it here and so much information has just poured out in the last like few hours alone.
Anyway, I've found a place to live and a possible job. If I get the job I can move pretty much right away. The cost of living is rather inexpensive here, which is fortunate for me, but it'll be tough at first but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to stay.
No, this isn't a fuck-up. "When one door closes, another opens." I've told you on multiple occasions that I admire what you've done and are doing. The fact that you and Chad didn't work out is incidental to the more relveant fact that you made a life decision and are working through it with the most positive outlook imaginable.
Simply put, this world needs more people like you, and I say that with all sincerity and respect. (You have known me long enough to know that I do not hand out free compliments to people!)
LOL. I really needed that comment from you Michael. I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!
Things between Chad & I have actually turned out to be working out quite well.
I'm still moving out but a new spark seems to have ignited between us. But maybe me moving out and doing my own thing will prove to him that I'm a great person and that he didn't exactly think things through.
He just told me out right that it's over with. He never tried to sit down and discuss anything with me. Especially when I tried so many times over the last few months.
Our mutual friend Miree (Mee-day, roll the R) is a very honest person and she's been there for us respectively since the beginning, and she even agrees that he did not go about any of this in a proper fashion. I think he's finally coming to realize this as well.
Stumbled upon your blog...
From what I read, this does not sound like a "fuck up" either. Everything happens for a reason, and always for the best. As far as I'm concerned, it sounds like the universe is moving itself to help you achieve exactly what you want in life. If it did not work out with this man, you are that much closer to the one it will work out with. Sorry your friends sound so lame. Hang in there!
Aww, thank you. I do appreciate your kind words. Some people are just so negative/pessimistic about everything and/or just extremely uptight.
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