Wednesday, September 17, 2008

They Walk Among Us.

Here are a few examples of documented stupidity which I've recently indulged in. Please enjoy my findings. I've recently decided, along with the agreement of Chad, that people are generally getting dumber and dumber. We're both all for the advancement of the technology, but so many things can be done for us that we never actually learn how to do so many simple tasks for ourselves.

I've got several friends who are brilliant in many ways but straight-up brain dead in others. For instance, one of those friends has absolutely no idea how the airport actually works -- meaning all of the processes in which you partake when going there for travel purpose (not just picking someone up) such as checking in, security check, finding your gate, boarding, that annoying waiting time between every step, and then picking up your luggage thereafter arriving at your destination.

Its very apparent that the category of people in this world who are actually smart is slowly decreasing with each birth of each child. It boggles my mind that there are a plethora of virtually limitless FREE resources at the fingertips of nearly every human being living on this planet yet are never EVER taken advantage of.

Anyway, on to the documented stupidity:

  • So I was calling to order a pizza ,with the menu in
    hand, i order a large pizza with ground beef, bacon,
    and extra cheese and the girl on the phone says "oh
    I'm sorry we don't have any ground beef" so i say "but
    here on the menu it says you have hamburger" and she
    responds "Oh well we have hamburger!" So i said ok
    I'll take the hamburger instead of the ground beef
    then. She says no problem!
  • Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get
    rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and
    hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want
    it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there
    without even one person looking twice at it. He
    eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of
    this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he
    changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The
    next day someone stole it.
  • While looking at a house, my brother asked the real
    estate agent which direction was north because, he
    explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
    morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
    When my brother explained that the sun rises in the
    east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and
    said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
  • I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call
    center. One day I got a call from an individual who
    asked what hours the call center was open. I told him,
    "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
    7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or
    Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I
    said, "Uh, Pacific".
  • My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our
    cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative
    assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her
    weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
    convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned
    because the car was moving".
  • My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's
    designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
    trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
  • My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that
    the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big
    party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2
    times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
  • I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
    with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
    My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time
    she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose
    and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which
    way the head is turned.
  • I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage
    area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told
    the woman there that my bags never showed up. She
    smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
    trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now,"
    she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
  • While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
    ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone
    and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4
    pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
    responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think
    I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces".

Yup, they walk among us. Talk about embarrassing.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Most of these made me laugh out loud!

Are you familiar with Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign" bits? Some of these would certainly fit into that act.

In all the years that I've known you, I had no idea that you had a sibling...

Lauren B. said...

Hahaha, I don't have a sibling. I have an older brother who died prior to my existence. Where did you read that at? I was trying to figure this out lol.

My real dad dated this lady who had a daughter (they lived with him for like 12-15 years) who was my age/same grade, etc. And she's the closest I've got to a real sibling. She actually is working for Obama.

I'm not familiar with Bill Engvall, but I will certainly look him up.

I just have a very intense dislike for people who are just dumb. Not the kind who can't help it but the kind who absolutely and 110% can yet are really just too lazy to do so. I could go on and on about this for hours.

How have you been lately?

Anonymous said...

Did you write all those bulletpoints? They make references to brothers and sisters, but you didn't attribute the items to any other author.

I'm okay. Sort of. Working a lot. Trying to make plans to improve home and professional situations.