Top-Five: Reasons NOT to approach a guy at a bar.

I've been racking my brain as of recently trying to come up with a new top-five. It's been rather difficult since I cannot put down this Twilight Saga. I'm finally on the fourth book and it kills me a little each time I have to set it down. Anywho, back to the task at hand!

While out with several of my girlfriends last Thursday evening, it dawned on me that I really don't think guys have a clue. And when I say clue, I mean that they are simply oblivious to certain things that any intelligent, self-respecting women would notice. I say this with certainty because I was able to compile a hefty list within a short time period; a list of reasons to not approach a man at a bar. It's pretty sad that I was able to jot down a list of more than ten different reasons, all of which had serious backbone.

So, without further ado, I bid you my latest.

1. Never approach a guy who is drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. As we all know, PBR is almost always on special at just about any bar, therefore it doesn't require much money to purchase, which in turn says that the guy is more than likely cheap and/or frugal with his money. Although, I know it also could convey that he is merely being efficient with his finances by choosing a beverage that serves its purpose. But let's be serious here. I don't know a single guy in his right mind who would do this. Moving on....

2. Never, ever talk to a guy who wears his cell phone clipped to his belt. This one should go without saying. When you see your dad wearing his cell phone clipped to his belt, you cringe at the thought of how retarded he looks. Then you come across a guy in the bar -- first you see his face followed by his button up shirt and then BAM! you spot his cell phone clipped to his belt. Within an instant everything that could have been wonderful about this man has just gone to shit. Like I said, it should go without being said.

3. Never ever waste anymore of your time when a guy you meet begins talking about his business/work affairs from the words get-and-go. No, I don't care that you live in Miami. No, I don't care that your in town for the weekend. Why don't I care? Because your clothes clearly do not reflect your story. An intelligent woman doesn't put all of her business out on Front Street right away. Only men who are absolutely desperate will do that. I'm not impressed by any of your phony crap. I don't care what you do for work. It's like guys think that if they skip all the introductions and go for a photocopy of their paystub who signs those paychecks, that it will immediately impress us women, thus causing us to swoon over their greatness. Um, WRONG!

4. When a guy starts mentioning the recent DUI he's snagged himself, just walk away. No intelligent women will give a flying fuck about your stupidity. Suspendables are not cool. Irresponsibility is not something brag about. Having no license for a period of time is not.....worthy of my time. Why? Because I'm smart enough to know my limit, to know better, to know when enough is enough, and that drinking and driving is not cool AT ALL.

5. You know when a guy comes up to you, introduces himself, and in return you introduce yourself? But you know when those certain guys approach you that have a neon sign above their head that is flashing 'Creeper! Creeper! Creeper!' ? You've gotten that automatic creeper vibe from said dude, so instead of giving your real name, you give your stage name. You know what I'm talking about. The assigned names you and your girlfriends call each other when your out and about, attempting to be inconspicuous? If you feel compelled to give a man your stage name, then that should put an automatic red flag up.